Thursday, February 21, 2013

Forgiveness...Why Bother?

I got my list, do you have yours? I bet most of us can come up with a list of people who have done us wrong in one way or another...and just the thought of what transgressions were made or even just thinking of the guilty party that made them brings back the pain, the frustration...the feelings of loss and betrayal.

We deserved better...we would never have done that to anyone! How could they? How can anyone ever forgive THAT?! And likely the pain feels nearly as real as the day the transgression occurred...with us white knuckling our version of forgiveness. Never even trying to forget. Forgetting would be weakness and vulnerability...the chance of somehow the pain occurring again and again and again...

Many resist forgivenesses call because somehow it seems linked to condoning the transgression...or minimizing the pain their sinful act caused, and yet somehow we know that unless we embrace forgiveness we will not embrace Peace.

This is something I struggle with of course. Just when I think I've let my grievances go to God I come face to face with my transgressor and...BAM! I'm back in the trenches fighting for my sanity & peace of mind! And then I begin again...why am I bothering?

I bother because I want Peace, I want closeness to my Creator. On a visceral level I have begun to realize that I am the only one standing in the way of just that!

Forgiveness is what God has offered us free of charge...whenever we are willing to accept it...if He could offer it to me, how could I not try my best to offer it to others? I bother because He wants me free of the lingering resentment & pain. I bother because He promises it will be worth the choosing. I bother because He bothered about lil' ol' me.