So, I've chosen forgiveness...but when I come face to face with my transgressor or even if they come to mind I feel like I have to chose forgiveness All. Over. Again. Each time I'm hoping that this will be the last time I experience agitation or resentment when confronted with the past. Sometimes after weeks, or even years, the pain reappears and can suck me right back to those feelings of loss and betrayal that I experienced long ago. How could this be when I honestly thought I let it go?
Perhaps it's because forgiveness is not just a one time thing but also a process. Oh, if forgiveness were only a switch to be flipped...when flipped from GRUDGE to FORGIVE it would result in Peace eternal! If it were that easy many marriages would be saved from divorce, families would never be divided and friendships would last forever! For even the well intended forgiver can find that being around the person that wounded them is just
too painful to bear! Faced with their inability to truly forgive it is just easier to let them go (or sometimes shove them) out of their lives forever and (try) to move on.
Knowing you should forgive, even telling yourself that you
have forgiven doesn't always translate to a true healing or wholeness...but
why? I believe it's because the true
essence of forgiveness is misunderstood. Forgiveness is simple but it is much more than a "right decision" to be made, but a true
ongoing change of the soul.
I've heard of some pretty amazing forgiveness stories in my time...and I continue to hear them, even today! A wife who has forgiven her husband for repeated adultery, parents who have lost children due to murder who have forgiven their killer, and grown children who have forgiven those who have violated their innocence. Their stories inspire me to search my heart and purge my spirit of my petty resentments & grudges, for if they can forgive their transgressors how can I justify withholding forgiveness from mine? I watch as they take the bold path of Forgiveness...choosing the only path that offers true healing & hope.
Forgiveness is a decision
and a process...the choice to start to look within ourselves...and the process of learning to love as God would have us do on Earth as it is in Heaven. Forgiveness truly is a change of vision in how we SEE our fellow brother or sister. To forgive someone is to love them and not withhold this gift due to their wrongdoings. To forgive someone is to see Gods Creation and see that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made! For what could be wonderful in God's eyes that is not worthy of love in our lives?
In facing Forgiveness we are brought face to face with the willingness to truly love as Christ loves us. Facing forgiveness means taking the time to think about the transgressor as God would, as one of His children just like you & me. You remember we are all equal in His eyes...and we are loved no less nor more by our actions. We are saved & forgiven by Grace.
Facing forgiveness has been one of the best things I've done for myself. Sometimes forgiveness has been automatic, and other times it has taken (and is taking) time...but it is
always worth it! My life is better after facing Forgiveness...and I assure you, yours will be too!
