Life's Not Supposed to be Fair

"That's not fair!" is a phrase most parents hear hundreds, if not thousands of times as they raise their darling children. I remember myself as a young child feeling frustrated at the lack of fairness I experienced and saw all around me.

The lack of perceived fairness involved mostly meaningless transgressions. "Why did my sister get a new coat, but I just get hand-me-downs?" "His cookie has more chocolate chips in it!" "I worked harder, why didn't I win?" ...and such. Looking back I'm embarrassed at my small mindedness and lack of insight that in the BIG picture that adulthood brings. Now I see things such as this just do not matter.

However, I'm back to those feelings again today in lieu of the recent media coverage of a high profile case. This time the transgression a more serious offense. Murder. Taking the life of another. What could be more unfair than this? "It's just not fair!" Sigh. I don't understand it... not one bit. My heart breaks... and yet, I am reminded violent scenarios like this happen more than we like to think about. Many of our children and youth die too too young, be it by accident, illness or even abuse. Life is SO unfair.

This morning however the UC FB page placed some verses online for today's thought and meditation. I read the story of Cain killing his brother Abel and realized that God's version of Justice and ours are often very different.

"An eye for an eye" may sound extremely "fair" however God often has a much bigger vision. What to me seems unfair may to God provide a better form of justice... one that leads us to where He desires us to be.

When I speak up for what I believe to be "fair" and "right" I need to keep in mind that I often will see things very differently than God. He has a Heavenly perspective and it often conflicts with how we think things should be. We can't always understand His ways... and that's okay.

Life isn't fair. Life is more than having a spreadsheet of gives and gets that all equals out. Life is a gift from God with a greater purpose. Within that purpose God has a special plan for each of us... within this plan is the attainment of our better good.

So, I'm going to love my brothers & sisters... and pray for all who tragically lose children. I will let my feelings of anger, frustration and injustice go to God with faith He is in control. I'm going to let go of the need for things to be "fair" here on Earth with the knowledge God will always be more than fair as He has shown in the birth, life, death and resurrection of His Son Jesus. His generosity and grace towards us are like his Love for us... beyond measure!

God has promised to give us more than we could ever give in return ... and to me this is MORE than fair! Life isn't supposed to be fair... but is supposed to be lived with the knowledge that we have been blessed beyond what we can fathom by a God full of grace, full of hope, and full of Love for this broken world.

Fair enough?

Celebrating Dependence On Independence Day

A year ago today I experienced one of the most stressful days thus far of my Motherhood. My youngest son fractured his femur while playing with his brothers in the living room. One minute he was stomping around the room and the next moment he tripped over a throw pillow, landed funny, and broke his leg. That's right. Tripped over a PILLOW... and fractured his FEMUR!

I pretty much knew as soon as he tried to straighten out his leg that it was broken. His left leg was shorter than his right by quite a bit and his knees were far from lining up. And the screams of pain... unlike any sound I've ever heard... searing my soul, shattering my heart.

Independence Day 2012 became a day when we as a family became dependent. We needed help in the BIGGEST way... from watching our other two boys to driving me to the hospital... not to mention prayer... lots of prayer. We were so blessed with family and friends that came through for us!

And there were others who we depended on too... the doctors and nurses that cared for him... the ambulance drivers that drove him safely to the pediatric hospital an hour away. Each of these persons giving to us in a way that we needed most. We needed them and they were there.

Our dependence continued once we came home. From our sitter's willingness to provide extra care so we could work to my boss's flexibility... we continued to receive. We were also graced in the weeks that followed with many visits to our home by family and friends. These precious souls brought with them the present of distraction and joy to our son who could not join the other kids outside to play. And prayer... the continued prayer was always felt.

We depended on others and through that dependence we were blessed, oh so blessed. It was a time when I remembered we are not meant to do this life thing all alone. We are in this together and that's a good thing.

I'm honestly still recovering from the whole ordeal. I'm a little more anxious at times when my little guy jumps, runs and plays... remembering how fast it can all change. And we are the lucky ones... for a year later he is no worse for the wear. He runs, jumps and plays like nothing ever happened. All are not so lucky, tragedies much worse happening to families every day.

I know even for us it could have been worse than a broken leg... and if it ever is I'll make it through. Not alone, but with a dependence on God and His faithful to be there for me. It's God that created Love and the beautiful blessing of helping each other that always means more than the giver may ever know. God works through others that give to those of us in need... in our darkest times... His Love is there.

Happy Independence Day 2013! A special thank you to ALL of you who our family depended on so much a year ago today. It was in this time of greatest need through others God's Love was revealed! So today I celebrate my dependence on God and on my Earthly spiritual family! God bless you all as you have blessed me!

Give a little... Get A lot

Giving gifts as inspired by the Holy Spirit is not like the giving as the world can gives in which the giver loses as he gives the gift and the taker is richer by the giver's loss. Such are not gifts but bargains made with guilt. To give as God gives we understand that whatever we give with a pure and cheerful heart we are giving to ourselves, and more. 

Giving is more than just about the stuff we give. Deep down I think we all know that. Even though we may offer an object or service... it's meaning is more. Giving can be a symbol to others of acceptance, affirmation and caring... and frequently, love. But stuff is not love, acceptance or caring so we must be sure not to confuse this or we may unknowingly settle for a shallow substitute!

We must always remember that these gifts cannot create love, but must come through love! True love cannot ever come from stuff but from the heart, or more accurately through the heart of God!

It is this Spiritual law that fulfills God's mission to bring us to Him... and bring Him to all in need. He blesses us for listening to His call of Love and we are rewarded for our efforts. Whatever we are able to give to the world through Him is multiplied. His supply of blessings is as unending as His Love.

We are all a vine with many branches. Through us He can reach others. Through us is shared many blessings and gifts to a broken, confused, and hurting World. By giving these gifts we then receive Him and his Love more and more.

God thereby gives to us by giving through us. Within this law true joy is found, although it contradicts our Earthly reasoning. Yet, His way is not the way of this world. With the greatest of love... God would not arrange this any other way.

  

  Acts 20:35: In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

It's a Beautiful Day For Love...

I wasn't feeling too good this morning, so I dropped the kiddos off at VBS and came home and went to bed. I set my phone nearby with the timer set so I wouldn't sleep through pick up time. I rested my head on the pillow and closed my eyes... I was out.

Then I heard my phone buzz... buzz... I awoke from my slumber, half out-of-it I automatically reached for my phone. It was a news text coming through... I rolled over and looked at the screen. I couldn't believe what I saw. DOMA was overturned by the Supreme Court and deemed unconstitutional!

What is DOMA? Well, I wasn't 100% sure right away what that meant either... but when I clicked on the text and opened up the news article I realized what had just occurred... the Defense of Marriage Act defining a married couple as exclusively between a man and a woman had been deemed discriminatory.

My eyes began to fill with tears as it began to soak in what this moment meant. The tears welling up as I realized what this meant for those committed couples whose love to each is  just like mine is to my beloved! Now married LGBT's can have the same protection and rights under the law that my hetero-marriage provides. A loving door was opening... a door that could lead so many out of bigotries parlor and into the Grand Ballroom of acceptance and love. Finally, equal rights for equal love!

My watery eyes began to overflow, turning to tears of joy. Pure joy. The Earth just became a better place, right before my eyes. I feel more free, not because my life had changed... I am still able to live in a safe neighborhood in suburbia with my husband and children with all the social acceptance and legal rights  that come with it. It's just now my LGBT friends and neighbors are closer to living this dream as well.

I'm so happy! Happy! Happy! One big hurdle towards love equality has now been conquered. I believe, yes... truly believe, that one day everyone will accept each other for their differences, not despite them. I believe we will see gender preference no more defining than one's eye color. I believe our focus will instead how we can celebrate our uniqueness! I believe together we will combine our energies and our efforts to become even more accepting and loving... and make this world the better place that God knows it can be!

The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. – Psalm 103:6

Where's the Joy in Giving?

I once gave a friend a gift. I was out of town and saw something I just knew she'd enjoy! It wasn't much... only costing around $10... but it's the thought that counts, right? So I bought it for her... for no reason but "just because". I was excited, and couldn't wait to give it to her.

Not too long after that she gave me something almost identical in return. Honestly, it was a bit confusing to me. I felt like the gift had been returned back to me! I couldn't help but think perhaps the gift was only offered to me in an attempt to keep things even. Sigh.

Have you ever offered to do something for someone in need and yet they declined the favor or said to you "You shouldn't have!"... and they mean it? I've heard someone explain "I don't want to be beholden!" My mother-in-law Jean was the one who explained the meaning of that word to me. She saw someone giving to her as more of a loan than a true favor... something that would have to be repaid in the future... with interest. Before then I'd not considered anyone would feel that way when offered a gift or given a favor.

Perhaps you have been given a gift by surprise and responded "But I didn't get you anything!" or found yourself saying "No one said we were exchanging gifts!" We then immediately brain-storm ways to "pay back" any perceived generosity. Turning gift-giving into more pain than pleasure. Truth is, we often have quite a few road blocks in our hearts keeping us from experiencing anything but!

Gift-giving gets the most complicated (ironically) at Christmas-time. The expectations are at an all-time high... as is the potential for disappointment. Many families have strict rules for all family members to follow. Unfortunately, when a family member does not stick to the plan... resentment, anger, frustration,  or hurt often follows. This is not exactly how anyone wants to feel... especially during the Holiday Season!

This is NOT the cheerful giving that our God intended for us! Our Earthly version is more like a game in which we are all keeping score. "Suzy spent $25 dollars on me for my birthday, so I better get her something around that same price so I don't look cheap!" We place our happiness and worth in making sure it all stays equal.

Some feel driven to give gifts as if it is a competition. When giving they like to make sure their gift is bigger and better than the others. They seek acknowledgement and recognition for being generous and giving, when in reality they are self-seeking instead. They are most pleased if they outdo everybody else. Likely motivated by poor self-worth or identity they seek from others the value that should come from within. Fear of not measuring up themselves they over-compensate with giving, however often are left feeling more insecure than ever... as giving should be motivated not by fear, but by love.

Sometimes we may give too much and yet get little or nothing in return... we feel unloved and uncared for. We may even at times feel taken advantage of or taken for granted.We tell ourselves "I'm not going to give to them again! They don't deserve it!" We then cross them off our gift giving list... protecting ourselves from being hurt by them again. Hoping to collect from our offering the love we so desperately crave... only to feel bankrupted and alone.

We are equally stuck if we give too little... some feeling guilty and shamed at not quite keeping up. Perhaps we go to a party and our gift is much smaller or less admired than the others... leaving us embarrassed and eager just to go home. The present offered in an attempt to draw us closer, to show affection then  becomes the very thing that separates us from another.

Some may do well at receiving the gifts offered by others, but miss out on true blessings as they neglect to give. Receiving much from others they selfishly keep gifts for themselves. In time, these self-centered "users" and "takers" are often exposed. They end up feeling empty and unsatisfied in life without awareness that from taking advantage of other's generosity they take from themselves... and often end up anxious and paranoid as they hoard their treasures away.

There are those of us who feel unworthy of gifts from others. Not feeling "good enough" we dread birthdays and Christmas, completely missing out on the happiness that those days can bring! Some may even stop celebrating these days all together in an attempt to not be faced with their poor self-esteem. The sad truth being if we are unable to accept gifts we aren't open to God's blessings. In order to receive these we must believe we are worthy and open up a place in our hearts and in our lives for these gifts to come in!

When we give we must give with no strings attached knowing that with strings it is as if there was no gift given at all! I've often wondered if those who have a difficulty receiving from others aren't the same folks who give with the greatest expectations! Fearing others may give with similar demands they are hesitant to accept a gift, fearing the unspoken contract! They miss out on the joy to be had when giving willingly, openly, lovingly with no expectation for anything in return. 

We need to reverse our view of giving so we can receive the gifts that God has in store for us! God has a better way for us. Why do we choose to give any other way than the way than God has shown us? This request also comes with a promise that whatever we may give we will receive much much more in return! Its such a beautiful win/win, why would we settle for less? Perhaps we believe on a deep dark level in the law of scarctity... forgetting that this law does not apply to the Spiritual laws of God. Perhaps we forget that Jesus has described for us a much better way.

I believe God show us a better way. Cheerfully. Openly. Lovingly. No longer giving for selfish reasons, we should ask Him for guidance in our gift-giving ways. We should trust Him to speak to us in our hearts for all matters... especially in the ways we give to others. When giving to others we will capture the joy if we always give cheerfully and eagerly with no expectation for even as much as a polite 'thank you' in return. 

We will find ourselves full of joy if we cut the strings of expectation and lead with love. With God as our giving guide He may at time direct us in ways unexpected. We will know His voice by the Peace in our hearts and the joy that follows. We are the messengers of His unending Love, being used every day as we are open and willing to share His Hope, His Love and His Grace to all who will accept it. Just as Jesus gave His life for us with no strings but that of acceptance, we should give our gifts to others with such love. There we will find our joy.

2 Corinthians 9:7: Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Proverbs 11:24: One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.

Deuteronomy 15:10: Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.

Confessions Of A Newbie Spiritual Blogger...

Have you ever paused for a moment in your spiritual journey and wonder how you got there? I guarantee if you would have told me where my walk with God would lead me I would have scoffed and believed you had lost touch with reality! I wouldn't believe I would find myself writing my 33rd post on a spiritually driven blog! Nor imagine I would be the administrator of a Facebook page devoted to Spiritual encouragement and inspiration!

Yet, here I am so willingly submitting to the Will of God... admittedly, at times not completely... but more than I ever dreamed I would or even could! Following God's Voice, listening to Him and then doing as He requests has been as enlightening as you might expect... and as humbling as you might hope. To be led to do things, share things, say things that to the world seem so strange, foreign and confusing at times is both gratifying and scary. Following this new path so unfamiliar, my dependence on the Holy Spirit growing every step of the way.

I'm being judged. That's been made clear. Not just by strangers, but also by some in my family and a few of the friends I love so dear. Some look upon me with a skeptical eye... especially if my questions and evolving beliefs go against the status quo or the accepted norm. My friends and family possibly questioning my motives or my "new" spiritual identity... withdrawing from the perceived unfamiliarity of my ways. 

I know I shouldn't care if some of my closest friends and family aren't interested in my blogging and spiritual pondering. After all, I'm not writing for others, but for God and for my own peace. Yet, even in my closest circle I've noted some seem totally uninterested in my blogging and the corresponding Not Just A Blonde Facebook page. I have come to be SO thankful to those who give me small words of encouragement or respond with a comment or simple 'like' to let me know they like what I've written. Many of those providing encouragement and feedback are people who have stumbled on my path who I don't even know! I'm thankful for those who I have connected with thus far... such as Tim Chastain who runs a Christian blog Jesus Without Baggage... who has consistently given me encouragement as I too lay my spiritual heart on-line for all to see.

Sigh. It just feels like rejection from some of those closest to me. Yet with this I am forced to remember to let go of the need for other's acceptance and approval... forgiving them for I am sure they are unaware of my earthly need to feel like they care. I need to move beyond this need anyway, so for this I should be grateful!

Talking about God and Spiritual things can immediately separate me from certain people... some just not interested in Spiritual matters. Strangers who don't know God may oft misjudge me. That is totally understanding. For starts, because of the Christian religion's bad rap. If one speaks of God, or worse, Jesus Christ, one can be pegged as one of those "religious people", a "Christian freak", or worse judgmental, haughty, elitist, or just totally un-relatable! Others see God as irrelevant and are just not that interested in me and my spiritual discussions.

Craving more Earthly spiritual companionship may be one of the reasons I considered writing this blog. Sharing my thoughts, observations and frustrations with the possibility of connecting with others about their thoughts, insights, and fears as well. Alas, I sometimes I feel isolated and lonely... yet I have become more and more grateful to those few loving souls who do choose walk and talk with me along the way.

In seeking Truth I wonder why is there so much fear and skepticism from others as we follow our God directed path? And more, when others don't understand us, judge us, and pull away from us... why does it hurt so much? To some I'm either a believer or a deceiver, religious or a pagan, I'm either good or I'm evil, I'm right or I'm wrong, I'm IN or I'm OUT, either saved... or damned to Hell. 

I sometimes feel misunderstood and can sense their judgment. Some may simply fear I am veering away from the well trodden path. If it weren't for the Peaceful, Loving Voice of God and His Presence I too might question what the heck I am doing! Sometimes I question myself why He leads me to do certain things, but with Faith I listen with curiosity on where He might lead me.

I've realized so much of all of this "God-talk" can make others totally uncomfortable, at times literally scaring people... even those who know me well. One or two even questioning if the Voice might be something other than our Living Holy God. I'm not sure where this comes from. Perhaps they are not in agreement with some of my stated beliefs.  Perhaps I don't seem good enough, loving enough, or worthy to engage in these discussions... and with this I totally agree!

I know I am no better and no more deserving of God's favor than anyone else. I'm not any more special or valuable to God than any other. I am loved the same by God as the atheist... and the atheist is loved no less than Billy Graham. Yes, it's true... I'm a mess! At times I indulge in pity parties... this post being a small example of that! Yet, faults, imperfections, and all I've been chosen, as are you, to fulfill a purpose. I'm just an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life... with an extraordinary God leading the way.

Together We Can Create A Masterpiece...

Last night I was invited to join a friend for a group art class gathering as part of a birthday celebration. Five of us ladies each enjoyed creating our own masterpieces working side by side with the instructor as our guide... giving us encouragement, feedback and more paint as needed along the way.

I found it most interesting that even though we were each given the same instruction... each of our paintings were different and yet they shared a similar anchor, pattern and color palate. Similar... yet different. Beautiful and unique. Just like each of us.

Feeling very inspired I asked the instructor if she had ever met anyone that desired to be an artist yet despite their desire to do so, just wasn't able to create art. How much of being an artist is pure gift and how much could be taught... 60/40? 50/50? I suppose I was inquiring in part to see if there was any hope for me to improve in my ability... creatively energized as I gazed upon her beautiful paintings hanging on the gallery walls... teasing my artistic fantasy.

She answered "I have rarely met someone who could not create art. If they are not successful I've found they just need to try a different medium!" So with sincere desire anyone can become an artist... through glasswork, photography, sculpture, textiles or painting... multiple different methods to express whatever is in our heart!

I realized in that moment that a spiritual question had been answered that had been stirring in my mind. I wondered if God supported us in the desires of out heart. I questioned does God support our dreams? Does He want us to use our talents? If God gave each of a gift... are we supposed to use it?

The answer to these questions seemed to be yes... and no. Our gifts lead us to our Purpose as do our hopes and dreams... but the medium God choses for our expression may not be what we would ever expect or choose for ourselves. The desire in our hearts is ours and by opening up to His perfect guidance we can be led to the medium that will fulfill our dreams and potential!

If I love art, perhaps I'm not a painter... but a sculptor. If my heart soars with music perhaps I'm not meant to be a rock star... but will thrive as a Christian speaker/performer. If I love writing perhaps I am not going to write the next best selling novel... but I will feel deep satisfaction in writing a blog that can inspire others! Many talents with many unique expressions... each one as different as each of us. 

His direction will always satisfy our greatest desires... but we must be willing to trust the Voice of God as He speaks to us and guides us. Desiring to use our gifts will lead us towards the path God has for us... If we follow His direction. God, the giver of all our gifts, knows our full potential! Each one of us with unique abilities if aligned with the Will of God can heal this broken world.

In this journey of life there are many artists...but one canvas. Together we can create a masterpiece with God as our Guide, as the body of Christ... bringing Heaven to Earth for all... as God has eternally intended.

A special thank you to Becky for inviting me to her birthday gathering 

and to Something Special Gallery  for hosting the wonderful paint and party experience! 

P.S. Yes! This IS the painting I created that night!